He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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