If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's shark week go big or go home
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
