i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
