Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
