no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
