Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
