forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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