I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
