Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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