i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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