I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize