I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
