found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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