the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize