so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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