like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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