I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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