She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
