Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize