Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
