This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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