You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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