you guys were way drunker than both of me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
