it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
