i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
