Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I understand Curling. That high.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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