You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
