Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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