I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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