i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
