I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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