She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
