She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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