He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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