How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
