There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
