My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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