you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You ruined the universe
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize