Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
