I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
