No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
