he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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