and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize