what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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