I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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