at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
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Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
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Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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