tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
