Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The adults are the big ones right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
