I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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