I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
