FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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