but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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