I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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