Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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