So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
