Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
