apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
