pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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