He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
