How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
