She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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